


D'You Really Need To?

by sleepymccoy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:20:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6244948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepymccoy/pseuds/sleepymccoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little idea I needed to get out of my system. I may use this as part of a bigger fic some time, but you can have this now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	D'You Really Need To?

“May I use your bathroom?” Spock asked.

“Sure,” McCoy responded absentmindedly. Then, remembering the state his bathroom is in and who was asking he reconsidered. “Ah… wait. D’you really need to?” 

Spock paused awkwardly. “I would prefer to, yes,” he said.

“It’s just… It’s a bit of a mess,” McCoy said in embarrassment. 

Spock rolled his eyes “I shall not judge you,” he said.

“I’m concerned you might. Really, it’d be easier if you just went back to your quarters,” McCoy said, abandoning his drink and walking over, placing himself casually between Spock and the bathroom. 

“Are you asking me to leave?” Spock asked, watching him pace in mild amusement.

“Oh, I’ll come with you!” McCoy said quickly. He was not keen to end this night for something as dumb as this. “I’m not kicking you out.”

“Except you are,” Spock said condescendingly.

McCoy was quiet for a moment. Spock stood up and started walking over towards the bathroom. McCoy shot his hand out to Spock’s chest, holding him in place. “Scotty mults like a cat. Leg hair everywhere, really, I’m doing you a favour,” McCoy said.

“Really?” Spock asked, looking at McCoy in bemusement.

“And - and the taps are fucked, I’ve been meaning to talk to Jim about it, we only get freezing water, your pretty Vulcan hands couldn’t handle it,” McCoy rambled.

“Doctor.”

“Plus the doors don’t lock, so you’re risking Scotty walking in on you, and let me tell you, that is not fun - Spock!” McCoy called. Spock had pushed past him and was striding for the door.

“I am using your bathroom, Doctor,” Spock called back, closing the door behind him.

“Christ.” McCoy muttered to himself.

After a minute of worrying silence Spock reemerged, his face utterly emotionless.

“Spock…” McCoy muttered.

Spock looked at him. There was some light in his eyes, but McCoy couldn’t figure if it was anger, disappointment, amusement, whatever. “Yes, Doctor?” Spock asked sarcastically.

“Look, it’s on the grey side of illicit, really,” McCoy said. “We’re not hurting anyone, we’re taking care with it, it’s safe!”

“Is it?” 

“We don’t even sell it, Spock!” McCoy cried out defensively. “And I’m a Doctor, of course it’s safe, and Scotty knows what he’s doing.”

“Does he?”

McCoy withered slightly under Spock’s glare. “I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly.

Spock ducked his head, his fringe falling to hide his face. When he looked up again there was a twinkle of definite amusement in his eyes. “Leonard, everyone on this ship is aware that you and Mr. Scott have turned your shared bathroom into an illicit distillery. I have been served your whisky multiple times by Mr. Chekov. Lieutenant Uhura consulted me when she and Nurse Chapel designed your logo,” Spock said.

“Oh,” McCoy said, dumbfounded. 

“I suggested the colour scheme be kept to just blue and red,” Spock continued.

“That was a good suggestion, Spock,” McCoy said. He had no idea how to handle this. “It’s a nice logo, thanks,” he said.

“You’re very welcome,” Spock said mildly. He smirked suddenly, glancing back at McCoy in his humour. “Mr. Scott mults, does he?” Spock asked.

McCoy groaned and sat down at his chair laughing. “Don’t - don’t tell him I said that, yeah?” He said, still chuckling.

“I make no promises,” Spock smirked.

McCoy grinned. “Bastard,” he said happily.

**Author's Note:**

> A post on tumblr mentioned this idea, and I love it. So have a fic.


End file.
